Not long ago I was semi bragging to my daughter that I no longer crave chocolate. I told her that I had just forgotten to buy it one day and after a few days I didn’t seem to want it or think about it anymore. I was feeling pretty cocky about the fact that what used to be a ‘two squares a day’ chocolate habit, seemed to have gone away.
The back-story is that prior to this I had what I called a ‘moderate addiction’ to chocolate, which I could easily manage. I now realize that moderate addiction is synonymous with a ‘controlled burn’ which is a process practiced by the forestry service. The problem is that it is never really a risk free deal. One minute everything is going as planned and every contingency is being managed, and then along comes an unexpected gust of wind from the wrong direction, all hell can break loose and a forest burns down. That’s pretty much a thumb nail sketch of what happened to me.
I was feeling so on top of my ‘controlled burn’ that I went to Trader Joe’s and bought my ‘drug of choice,’ a Pound Plus bar. This is literally 17.6 oz. of dark bittersweet chocolate imbued with a generous amount of almonds. I figured it would be good to have it around for entertaining or for an occasional dalliance on my part.
There is something that we addiction specialists call the ‘Sleeping Tiger Phenomena, which basically describes the following behavior. You could have been off drugs, alcohol, or whatever for 18 years or more but if you are an addict and you pick up what you were addicted to, you can go from 0 to 60 in a nano second. Yes, literally, you may think you are going to have just one cigarette, or one drink, or two squares of chocolate but the minute you re-introduce the substance you were addicted to, back into your body, the brain goes, “Hot damn, where have you been? I’m in heaven again!” and craves more and more of it until before you know it, you are back up to the same amount you were using at the height of your addiction or maybe even more. The only way you can control the tiger is to remove the addictive substance from your reality, or do some serious Energy Psychology work such as Meridian Tapping with someone who knows what they are doing.
Without dragging you through all the ugly details, I will say that my experience was humbling and one which forced me to use my tools. Needles to say, I did not hold to my two squares threshold and like everyone who over-indulges in something not good for them, sabotaging their health and their weight, I hated myself the next morning.
The good news is that I have recognized my Achilles heel, come fully to grips with my imperfect humanity and forgiven myself for the unimaginable amount of chocolate I consumed on that night of depraved behavior.
The next day I set an intention, forgave myself and used Meridian Tapping and Chakra work to clear the emotions that were underlying the craving in the first place.
Do I want to do this again? Hell no, and to my credit I will tell you that I have been doing my Energy Psyche work on it and as of today, the remainder of the bar still lives in my fridge but has not had an intimate encounter with me since that last day of decadent debauchery.
I have come fully to grips with the Sleeping Tiger and I have no desire for a repeat performance. It was humbling, but also a good reminder that we do have choice and if we don’t like the choices we are making, we can do the work to neutralize them and empower good, life enhancing choices.
Lest I forget that truth and ever become temped again to let this get out of hand again, I will remind myself that they didn’t name this chocolate bar “Pound Plus” for nothing.